Why do we let our ‘size’ define us?
“I’m a size 12”, says she. “I’m a size 16”, says another with a sigh. With a note of triumph, the vivacious one declares, “I’m a size 8!” Yet another remains silent, looking down as if present in the conversation, but absent having withdrawn to the familiar place of shame that screamed at her, “Not good enough; you’ll never measure up!”
I remember when…
Perhaps it was about twenty years ago when I was about to step on to the scales to do the daily ‘weigh-in’. In that moment, it was like an inner-audible voice spoke to me saying…
“What are you going to do with the number?
I didn’t feel condemned or judged; instead, the words came like a gentle refreshing wind into my soul imparting life and love wrapped up in joy and peace. Recognising Jesus’ voice, I chose to stop. And I asked a question of my own; “What do you mean?”
He spoke again with such wisdom and tender compassion that I felt seen, heard, understood and utterly loved. “Well, if it’s lower than you thought, you’ll be happy. If it’s higher than you expected, you’ll be sad.”
Until that moment, I had no idea how much the numbers on a set of scales had taken me captive.
But Jesus is fully able—and wants to—lead captives into freedom!
He is the One who sets the prisoners free, but there are times when God’s Spirit must help us to see that we are captive to something and want to be free.
And today? I haven’t chosen to weigh myself since that day. Each time I felt tempted, I turned to Jesus, surrendering the desire to him. And in the moment of a big breath—in and out—peace and life-giving rest occupied more of my mind as I chose to trust Jesus that it would be okay.
I remember when…
In the hormonal changes of my late forties, in the space of a few weeks, my internal alarm bells began ringing ever more loudly. I was watching the lower half of my body balloon as the medication the doctor prescribed me took effect.
My altered body image was tormenting me in the room of my mind where anxiety and fear ruled. The shouting, judgmental, condemning and brutal voices were daily becoming louder, more strident and horribly vicious.
One morning as I examined myself—yet again—in front of the bathroom mirror, I heard a very fearful, critical and self-loathing part of me. She had emerged out of hiding in the shadows long enough to accuse me. Feeling an increasing sense of dark despair, as if all hope was being flushed down the toilet, it was in that moment when I heard a different voice inviting my attention.
The voice was gentle and strong. The words I heard were ushered in by an-other-worldly calm and hope—again, somehow audibly, but on the inside; “Heather, this is the way to be free. Every time you examine yourself like this, turn your eyes to look at Jesus instead.”
At first it wasn’t easy. At all. Breaking negative habits is like that. At first, on the road to freedom in this area of my life, while standing in front of the mirror, I even held my face—to gently but firmly switch my focus away from myself on to Jesus. Other times, I needed to intentionally move away from the mirror because now I recognised the imminent danger I was facing.
In my mind I could see the monster gleefully waiting to pounce and grab me and swallow me whole like a predatory dragon shaking me this way and that, all the time sneering, “I told you so!”
But God...
Each and every time I chose to let the Holy Spirit help me to refocus on Jesus rather than fixating on myself and the ‘problem’—it gradually became easier to breathe and really live!
The freedom—in Jesus—came for me before the doctor telephoned to say there was a concern about the medication and I must stop taking it.
I remember when…
The Spirit of God our beloved Father said to me, “Shame is not your friend.”
Shame is not your friend.
I did not feel condemned or judged. His words, and even the tone of his voice, changed everything. It felt like Jesus, kneeling in front of me, gently lifted my chin to help me look up into his eyes.
And what did I see?
Come with me.
When we look into the face of Jesus who is the exact representation of God’s being, you and I see that he has the kindest eyes that twinkle like diamonds shining in the light; like the way the water sparkles when the sun shines on the ocean!
My precious friend, come close to God and he will draw near to you because he loves you so much!
It is man—people—who look at our outward appearance. God looks at your heart and mine and he who calls us to “Come to (be with) Jesus!” just as we are without one plea, will never ever turn anyone away.
Your real God-given identity is not found in a number.
Your identity is not defined by what the world demands you are or who you should be.
Your true identity is found in Jesus Christ alone.
So, come to Jesus in a posture of abandoned surrender. His lavish love and the gift of his amazing grace will wash you clean of the life-draining heavy weariness of endlessly striving to be right—to measure up and be acceptable.
The Spirit of Jesus will work a divine exchange transfusion in you—cleansing you of sin and despair—making you whole and healed and filled with hope and peace from the inside out.
Set free to follow Jesus!
Heather thank you for these words. I’ve never really thought about the word noble. I love that God gave you…
Thanks Ross! Your comment’s so helpful and encouraging for me. 😊❤️
Thanks Heather for the reminder of who our Lord and Saviour is. And the importance of our identity in Jesus.…
Thank you, Lori! Your encouragement and blessing is very welcome. And I’d extend your beautiful blessing prayer to you too,…
Heather J Henson 
Thanks for taking the time to comment, Anne. I’m so thankful that the words that mean so much to me…